Amy Beth O’Brien’s friends think she watches a few too many movies, but she just may be on to something.
In her book Stuck with Mr. Wrong? Ten Steps to Starring in your own Life Story (http://www.amybethobrien.com), O’Brien shares her secret to avoiding bad relationships by looking at life from an audience’s perspective.
“Everyone loves the movies,” said O’Brien. “We get to lose ourselves in a story and live vicariously through the main character. I encourage women to be the main character in their own life story by stepping into their starring role as leading lady and stop playing extra or best supporting actress to someone else.”
Her lessons are taught through movie analogies that help women take control of their lives, and help them avoid the mistakes that often lead to good women putting up with bad male behavior. Her tips include:
- Embrace Your Inner Screenwriter – Every woman has some version of the story they want to live. We can write our script based on fears of what would happen if we made any changes or out of faith that taking control of our lives, and being our most authentic selves, is the best story we could ever write.
- Listen to Your Director – While the screenwriter spins the yarn, the director delivers the vision to guide the story. When the players are acting out of character, or the story seems to take a wrong turn, the director guides us to make the best choices to put us back on track. Listening to your director means understanding that our intuition is our best friend and guide.
- Become the Star – If we looked at our life as a movie, would we see ourselves as the leading role in our own movie, or an extra or supporting player in the lives of those around us? We all have family and friends we support, and for whom we make sacrifices. How much of our time is spent on those responsibilities and obligations, and how much is dedicated to living the scripts of our own lives? Many of us live with the guilt-ridden thesis that if we spend time on our own goals, we are somehow neglecting others. That’s patently false and we need to ensure that we don’t spend our lives playing roles in other people’s movies, to the extent that we’re unable to star in our own.