Tips To Survive Holiday Gatherings

For those of us from families built on Debbie Downer DNA, there’s only one direction a mood can go during holiday get-togethers and that’s down.

Sure, the running negative commentary, bubble-bursting barbs and rampant self-pity were funny coming from comedian Rachel Dratch on “Saturday Night Live’s” Debbie Downer sketches. But few of us can foresee our own Negative Nancys giving us a good belly laugh.

Whether you’re the smiley face among frowners, or a bit of a Depressing Dan yourself, there are tricks you can use to keep the table talk from getting lethal, says Paula Renaye, a professional life coach and author of The Hardline Self Help Handbook, (www.hardlineselfhelp.com).

“You can take control simply by thinking about what you choose to say – or not say,” Renaye says. “If you hear yourself criticizing, judging or complaining, you’re part of the problem. Happy, self-respecting people don’t find it necessary to dump on others to make themselves feel good.
“If someone else is the problem, simply don’t give them the ammunition they need,” she says. Instead try these tactics:

• Do not say anything negative. Period. And no one-downing! One-downing is the opposite of one-upping. It’s the art of coming up with something worse when someone else talks about their problem. No matter what negative thing anyone says, or how much you agree with it or don't, resist the urge to respond with a negative. Instead ….

• Dodge, distract and detour. Turn things around with a question -- a positive one. If you need to, make a “happy list” of questions before you go, so you’ll have some at the ready. And remember, there's no law that says you have to answer a question just because someone asked it. With negative people, it’s best if you …

• Do not talk about yourself. The only reason negative people care about what you’re up to is because they want something to ridicule, brag or gossip about to make themselves look or feel good. Don’t go there. Whether you just filed bankruptcy or won a Nobel Prize, keep it to yourself. No good can come of it. None. And why do you need to chatter like a chipmunk about yourself anyway? Might want to think on that one, too. Better to find some praise for someone else than to expect someone to praise you.

• Do not share your woes. Even if you’re in a tough place and could really use a shoulder to cry on, don’t start laying your woes on a Negative Nell. Even in a weak moment, when you’ve had a terrible day, talking about it with a negative person is a bad idea. You might get a microsecond of sympathy, but that’s only so they can launch into telling you how much worse they have it. So, no talking about yourself unless you want to be the talk of the party, the family and the town.

• Do your homework and become like Teflon. Think of the times people said things that made you feel bad or made you feel the need to defend or explain yourself. If you want to avoid going down that trail again, start hacking away at the jungle of your own emotions. Get over needing anyone's approval or blessing. If you are still waiting for negative relatives to validate you, you’re in for a long wait. Don't set yourself up to be miserable. Get over it and go prepared.

About Paula Renaye

Former eggshell-walker, emotionally-bankrupt wreck and utter failure at keeping her world from falling apart, Paula Renaye uses her journey out of despair into joy as a breadcrumb trail for others.  She has been a consultant for 18 years, holds a degree in financial planning with a background in journalism and psychology, and is a member of the International Association of Coaches.  Paula is the multi-award-winning author of The Hardline Self Help Handbook.

Last Minute Gift Ideas

Need a few more ideas than those highlighted in the 2011 Atlanta Social Season holiday gift guide (“Oh Happy Play!” featured on pages 122 to 123)? Check out the popular picks here.

—Shandra Hill Smith

Hellophone

B. toys Hellophone

Little ones from 18 months to five years old will get a kick out of the B. toys Hellophone — the play cell phone that calls you back. Parents can record messages for kids to listen to on this BPA- , lead- and phthalate-free phone. All B. toys items featured here are available at www.target.com and http://justb-byou.com.

Dr. Doctor Kit

B. toys Dr. Doctor Kit

Young doctors — 18 months to five years — will have all the tools they need (nine in all) with the B. toys Dr. Doctor Kit. It includes a stethoscope with heartbeat sound, beeper with light and sound, blood pressure cuff and more, all within a carrying case.

Wheee-mote Control

B. toys Wheeee-mote Control

This remote control car beeps, flashes and spins and features a powerful radio signal that works across rooms. One to four year olds can get in on the action!

Melissa & Doug Wooden Farm Train

Your child can spend hours at a time unloading train cars and pretending to steer with this colorful engine with three interchangeable cars. Children three and older can transport a cow or take cans of milk, fruit and vegetable crates to market.

www.melissaanddoug.com

Melissa & Doug Folding Medieval Castle

Medieval Castle

Kids can create their own “Once Upon a Time” stories with help from a King, Queen, knight and horse with the Melissa & Doug Folding Medieval Castle. The castle includes turrets, staircases and a large courtyard, and when the play is over, children (three and older) can easily store all the pieces inside before folding the castle closed. www.psychobabyonline.com 

The Psychology of Overspending and How to Outsmart the Impulse

Why We Go Crazy at Christmas: The Psychology of Holiday Shopping…and 11 Ways to Outsmart the Overspending Impulse
The holidays are here, and in addition to festive time spent with family and friends, for most of us it means a small fortune spent on gifts and other non-necessities. Leslie Greenman explains why we feel so compelled to shop till we drop at Christmas—and how not to do it this year.

 

Were you tempted by the Black Friday and Cyber Monday sales offers? Were some of the sales so good that you veered off your Christmas list a bit, buying items for yourself in addition to a few other holiday extras? Did you internally justify going over budget because, “Heck, it’s Christmas! I deserve to splurge a little!”? Were you careful to keep a “what I don’t know can’t hurt me” mentality about you and your spouse’s financials, staying in the gray to ward off any guilt that might come with overspending?

If you answered yes, yes, yes and (embarrassed blush) yes, Leslie Greenman says your brain has been hijacked by the psychology of overspending. She wants you to curb these out-of-control holiday spending frenzies—but first you must understand WHY you feel the need to splurge in the first place.
           
“This is a very difficult time of the year to stick to a budget and the reasons why are numerous and complex,” says Greenman, a financial advisor and author of the new book Dating Our Money: A Women’s Guide to Confidence with Money & Men (AuthorHouse, 2011, ISBN: 978-1-46341742-0, $14. 95). “One of the biggest reasons is that women tend to be givers and pleasers by nature. We want to buy great gifts for friends and family members. We want to get the best looking decorations for the house.
           
“We convince ourselves it’s okay to overspend because Christmas only comes once a year!” she adds. “This is our time to forget the budget and do whatever we can to make those around us happy. So in the name of making the holiday the best one ever, we carefully avoid the truth about our financials. After all, if we don’t know for certain that we’re going way over the family budget, then what’s stopping us from spending a little more on the kids’ presents or buying that new dress for the office party?”
           
Greenman notes that the nature of holiday spending—the fact that we’re buying for others and not ourselves (in theory anyway)—increases our tendency to overspend.
           
“Many women think the holidays give us a guilt-free pass to shop ’til we drop,” says Greenman. “We justify it by telling ourselves, ‘Well, I have to get gifts for everyone or they’ll be disappointed!’ While it’s nice to give someone something they want, that good feeling will quickly fade when you see how much your holiday spending affected the family’s finances.”
           
The good news is that with careful planning you can give everyone on your list a special holiday without having to pay for it for months and months to come. Read on for Greenman’s advice on how to better understand the psychology of overspending and what you can do stop it:
Get real about your financials. Before you step out the door to head off to the next great sale, you need to be honest with yourself. Sit down with your spouse and have a heart-to-heart about your financials. Make sure you both understand what the budget will allow for in holiday spending this year.

“Look at how much you can realistically spend,” advises Greenman. “Make sure your holiday spending will in no way negatively affect your bigger plans. Too often, women think of the financial picture like it’s a black hole. Credit cards are a huge cause of this because they allow us to avoid the reality of debt. We can just whip out our credit card without taking an immediate hit in our bank account. But that has to stop. Now is the time to gain a clear understanding of the family financials. When you do so, you’ll be more inclined to control your spending.”

Don’t let the psychology of the sale get the best of you. Shoppers were out in droves this year on Black Friday in part because they were hammered with promotions on sales that that were just too good to resist. When there’s a great sale, two factors are usually used to justify spending, explains Greenman. First off, we fear that if we don’t take advantage of the sale now we might not be able to get that item later. And secondly, most women love to feel like they’ve gotten a great deal when they’re shopping.

“Even if the on-sale item is still too much for your budget, you convince yourself that it’s ok to splurge a little in this case because the deal being offered is so good,” she says. “But let’s be honest. Going over budget is going over budget. It doesn’t matter what purchase is deepening your debt; just that your debt is increasing. So don’t let holiday sales get the best of your budget. If an item is too much for your personal financial situation, don’t buy it.”

Don’t shop for yourself. According to the National Retail Federation’s 2011 Holiday Consumer Intentions and Actions Survey, the average person will spend $130.43 on themselves while holiday shopping. When you’re making it okay for yourself to do a lot of spending, it can be difficult not to stray off your list and buy a couple of things for yourself.

“We have all done it,” says Greenman. “You see something you like and think, Wow, that is so cute. I will buy one for so and so and one for me. Or you want to feel great at the office holiday party and think the best way to feel great is to look great. So you justify splurging on a great dress and new pair of shoes for the party.”

“But before you spend, consider some money-saving alternatives,” she suggests. “You could borrow a dress from someone or add an accessory or a great pair of shoes to a dress you already own. In fact, this is actually a good reason to organize your closet. When you can easily see what you have, you can quickly put together a great holiday outfit without spending a dime. ”

Don’t shop when you’ve got the holiday blues. This time of year can bring a lot of joy, but it can also be overwhelming and stressful. What’s more, the holidays are filled with grief triggers—sights, sounds and smells that bring back memories of days past when life was better and loved ones hadn’t yet passed on. Those holiday blues, whether we understand why we’re feeling them or not, can pose a pocketbook problem: studies have shown that we are willing to spend more when we’re sad.

“Avoid shopping when you’re having a down day,” advises Greenman. “Curl up and watch a holiday movie or go do something fun with your kids instead. Save the shopping for a better mood. ”

Invest in relationships, not in “stuff”. It’s perfectly natural to want to give back to those who give to you. It feels good to watch a friend open the gift you’ve given her or to see your son’s face light up when he sees Santa brought him everything on his list. This satisfies the nurturing instinct in women, in particular. And it also helps us assuage the guilt we often feel for the shortage of time we have to spend with our loved ones. What we need to realize is that what other people really want, kids and adults alike, is our presence (not our presents).

“According to a Consumer Reports poll, holiday shoppers will spend approximately 19 hours shopping and 3 hours standing in check-out lines this holiday season,” says Greenman. “Aren’t there much better ways we could be spending our time? Rather than throw down cash to buy the video games your son wants, spend a day with him doing the things he loves to do. Suggest to your best friend an afternoon together meeting for coffee and going to a movie. Or treat your parents to a home-cooked meal and some Christmas carols performed by their grandkids. You can also take this a step further and make it even more gratifying for everyone involved. Suggest to your loved ones that the time you spend together be used to volunteer for a local charity—a great way to enjoy the true spirit of the season!”

Establish an “Operation Holiday” plan. Once you know what your budget is, start mapping out your shopping plan. Make the gift list and then think about where you’ll need to go to purchase each present. The specificity will override the “vagueness trap” that allows us to fool ourselves about how much we’re really spending.

“The more specific your plan, the easier it will be for you to hold yourself accountable to it,” notes Greenman. “Keep your key goals in mind, both short-term and long-term. For example, are you trying to keep each gift under X amount of dollars? Do you want to be finished by a certain time? Do you still need to have enough money left over in the budget to make your monthly donation to the family summer vacation fund? Don’t sacrifice your long-term financial plans to satisfy short-term holiday spending cravings.”

Don’t put off your shopping until the week before Christmas. It is best to start your holiday shopping as many shopping days before Christmas as you can. Procrastinating will only send you into a state of panic that usually ends in overspending.

“As the holiday gets closer and you realize you haven’t even made a dent in your list, you’ll start to get desperate,” explains Greenman. “And when you’re desperate, you won’t have as many misgivings about going over budget in order to get your shopping done. You’ll also have less time to finish your shopping so you’ll think you have to get whatever is available. ‘Shop early and save’ should be your new motto. Another positive to getting all your shopping out of the way early is that it gives you more time to kick back and enjoy all of the fun festivities leading up to the holidays.”

Set a holiday shopping curfew. You don’t have to go tearing through stores, pushing innocent shoppers from your path (or spraying them with pepper spray as one much-publicized shopper did on Black Friday), but setting a time limit on your shopping will help you keep your spending impulses in check and stay on budget.

“When you know you only have until 3:00 p.m. to finish your shopping, you won’t linger in the women’s clothing section until you see something you want to buy for yourself,” notes Greenman. “It also keeps you from going to sections of a store that you know don’t contain any items from your list but that are just fun to spend time in. Remember, the less time you spend shopping, the more time you’ll have to spend with friends and family.”

Remember, it’s the thought that counts. You might find the perfect gift for someone but then reject it because you don’t think the price is significant enough to be an adequate gift. That’s because we unconsciously equate love with money. Not only is there absolutely no connection between the two, this self-imposed spending minimum can lead us to bypass meaningful gifts in favor of expensive, less meaningful ones (which the recipient may not even remember by Christmas of next year).

“A gift with a lot of thought behind it or shared meaning for you and the recipient can have far more significance than a more expensive item,” says Greenman. “For example, a special photo of you and a friend in a frame with a special note about how much you enjoyed the time you spent together is a great gift. Or have your kids write down the 10 things they love about their grandparents and include the list in a photo album of the kids. These are all gifts that involve more thought and meaning than just going to the store and buying a gift. And the people receiving them will truly appreciate it.”

Make a list, check it twice, and bring cash! How many times have you walked into a store and immediately found the perfect gift for a friend? Sure, you hadn’t planned on spending that much, but she would love it, so why not? You can just put it on your credit card, right? Wrong, says Greenman. Buying on credit is a trap to be avoided if at all possible—and the best strategy for defeating temptation is to bring a list you don’t veer from and only the cash needed to purchase the items on it.
“If you use your credit card, you’ll probably end up buying those gifts two or three times over in interest payments,” she notes. “Do not stray from your list. If you do stray, the cost of the non-list item needs to be the same as the one you had already budgeted. Bring only cash with you when you’re shopping, or at the very least, use your debit card or write a check.”

Don’t shop with a holiday budget saboteur. If you prefer doing your shopping with someone else in tow, choose someone who won’t encourage you to go off budget. In fact, make sure it is someone who will truly hold you accountable. Many people are easily influenced by the behavior of their friends. When they’re with free spenders, they become free spenders. Likewise, when they’re with more disciplined friends, they’re influenced by this positive peer pressure.

“If I shop with one of my girlfriends, I know it could quite possibly turn into a several hour affair,” notes Greenman. “I also know that some of my girlfriends would rather encourage me to splurge than support me in my efforts to stick to a budget. If you’re going to pair up with someone to do your holiday shopping, make sure it’s someone who’s going to keep you on track. For example, maybe your mom is a stickler when it comes to managing the family budget or maybe using the holiday shopping outing to educate your kids about sticking to a budget will help you hold yourself accountable as well.”

Point, click, and save. The benefits of online shopping are obvious. You don’t have to battle holiday traffic, it is practically hassle-free, it’s easier to compare prices, and best of all, it allows you to resist the temptations that come along with being in a store.

“When you’re in a store it can be really tempting to wander off your plan and start looking at items that aren’t on your list,” says Greenman. “Because you can search for specific items, online shopping helps you to stay on task. It also provides a greater selection of those items so that you can easily compare cost and quality. And usually free shipping is offered around the holidays!”

Don’t be afraid to regift. Regifting has a stigma attached to it. Many people feel it violates gift-giving etiquette. Maybe they think it makes them feel like an unimaginative gift giver or perhaps like a poor person. But remember, you’re opting out of the herd mentality this year anyway. Take a new look at regifting. When done well it can help you find a home for items that you’re never going to use and make the day of the gift recipient.

“There is nothing wrong with regifting items that you haven’t used and that you know someone on your Christmas list would like,” says Greenman. “Sure, there is a line that has to be drawn. If your grandmother got you a sweater you hate, but she expects you to wear, then that’s probably not an item that you should regift. Suck it up and wear it! But let’s say a former colleague got you a scarf as part of a Secret Santa exchange at work last year. It’s a perfectly nice scarf, but it’s a color that just doesn’t look good on you. That’s a great item to regift. You’ll get it out of your house, and someone else will love having it.”

“Other great options are unused gift cards—as long as they haven’t expired— or clothes or other items either with the tags still on or still in their original box that you never used,” she adds.

            “Don’t convince yourself that just because it’s the holidays it’s okay to ignore your budget and overspend,” says Greenman. “If you don’t know the big picture of your current financial status, then make sure you have a very clear understanding of it before you start your holiday shopping.

Remember you can give a lot without spending a lot. Stick to your budget and then be generous with your time and spirit. Once the holidays are over, you’ll be happy you didn’t blow your savings, and you and your family and friends will be fulfilled by the time you all spent together.”

About the Author:
When Leslie Greenman’s husband unexpectedly passed on at age 35, she suddenly became a single mother of two boys (ages two and four). Leslie learned how quickly life can change. She went into the financial industry to empower women with the knowledge and confidence to take action and be prepared. Through her tough experiences of becoming suddenly single, she realized how easily women can be misinformed and taken advantage of. Dating Our Money offers women the important information they need to confidently make smart choices with money and men.

Leslie is currently a financial advisor, author, and public speaker. She loves to talk to women and girls about managing money and making wise choices but can adapt a speech to meet the needs of any audience. She encourages people to remember that every decision counts! Buying soda at a restaurant could prevent you from saving thousands of dollars over a lifetime.

Through her book, Dating Our Money, Leslie’s goal is to make financial planning fun and relatable for all women.

Preserve Tax Incentives for Charitable Giving

Brian Gallagher, president and CEO of United Way Worldwide www.liveunited.org testified before the Senate Finance Committee hearing, “Tax Reform Options: Incentives for Charitable Giving.”  In his testimony, Mr. Gallagher urged lawmakers to preserve the charitable tax deduction, stating that proposed limitations would unfairly burden those at the bottom of the economic spectrum.

“Our nation is enduring a drawn-out, jobless recovery, which has been especially hard on the poor and middle class,” Mr. Gallagher testified. “Over the long-term, investments in social services or ‘human success’ can help our nation recover and prosper. There can be no sustained economic success without human success; there never has been. We in the nonprofit sector are investing in human success. And we need the help of this Committee and Congress to make that investment.”

Any limitation or reduction in federal tax incentives for charitable donations will result in a reduction of charitable giving. Such a reduction will limit the capacity of charities to provide assistance to the families and individuals at the bottom of the economic spectrum. These reductions in charitable services will come just as federal and state governments are cutting funding for social programs that are designed to help these same families and individuals.

 “For United Way, we calculated that a mere 2.5% reduction in revenue would result in 1.3 million fewer times that we can provide job training services for an unemployed worker, home care for an elderly citizen, service supporting housing for a single mother, or a mentor or tutor for an at-risk young person,” stated Mr. Gallagher.

In addition to Mr. Gallagher, other witnesses included: Dr. Frank Sammartino, assistant director for Tax Analysis, Congressional Budget Office, Washington, D.C.; Elder Dallin H. Oaks, The Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Salt Lake City, UT; Dr. Eugene Steuerle, Richard B. Fisher Chair and Institute Fellow, The Urban Institute, Washington, D.C.; and Mr. Roger Colinvaux, associate professor, The Catholic University of America, Columbus School of Law, Washington, D.C.    

To read the full text of Mr. Gallagher’s remarks, or to watch the hearing recap, go to: http://www.liveunited.org/hearing

Free Eye Exams for The Elderly

GET MOM OR DAD OUT OF THE DARK

 Every five seconds one person in the world goes blind, but in 80 percent of the cases, blindness is preventable or treatable. EyeCare America is dedicated to preserving sight by urging people to “get out of the dark” and get eye disease caught early through a simple painless eye exam in honor of World Blindness Awareness Month taking place in October. This national program offers eye exams at no out-of-pocket cost through volunteer ophthalmologists dedicated to serving their community.

“More than 45 million people worldwide are blind,” said Richard P. Mills, MD. “EyeCare America is raising awareness of the importance of regular eye exams, because in many cases, the most severe eye diseases offer no warning signs, until it’s too late and vision loss is irreversible. But regular eye exams can help you catch problems early, while there is still time to treat conditions and prevent permanent loss of sight.”

In honor of World Blindness Awareness Month, EyeCare America, a public service program of the Foundation of the American Academy of Ophthalmology, provides year round eye exams at no out-of-pocket cost to people age 65 and over. Eye exams are provided by a corps of nearly 7,000 EyeCare America volunteer ophthalmologists across the U.S. and Puerto Rico. Those interested in the program can visit www.eyecareamerica.org to see if they are eligible. The organization’s online referral center also enables friends and family members to find out instantly if their loved ones are eligible to be matched with an EyeCare America volunteer ophthalmologist.

While some eye diseases, such as cataracts, progress slowly and offer symptoms, potentially serious eye problems, such as glaucoma, age-related macular degeneration (AMD), and diabetic retinopathy, often offer no warning signs. They can only be caught and treated in the early stages, when preventive care is still possible, through a medical eye exam.. By the time these conditions do begin to show symptoms, such as blurred vision or black spots across the field of vision, often vision loss is irreversible.

EyeCare America is designed for people who:

• Are U.S. citizens or legal residents

• Are age 65 and older

• Have not seen an ophthalmologist in three or more years

• Do not belong to an HMO or receive eye care benefits through the VA.

To see immediately if you, a loved one or a friend, 65 or older, is eligible to receive a referral for an eye exam and care, visit www.eyecareamerica.org.

EyeCare America is co-sponsored by the Knights Templar Eye Foundation, Inc., with additional support provided by Alcon. The program is endorsed by state and sub-specialty ophthalmological societies.

About EyeCare America
Established in 1985, EyeCare America, the public service program of the Foundation of the American Academy of Ophthalmology, is committed to the preservation of sight, accomplishing its mission through public service and education. EyeCare America provides eye care services to medically under-served seniors and those at increased risk for eye disease through its corps of nearly 7,000 volunteer ophthalmologists dedicated to serving their communities. More than 90 percent of the care made available is provided at no out-of-pocket cost to the patients. Since its inception, EyeCare America has helped more than 1.5 million people. EyeCare America is a non-profit program whose success is made possible through charitable contributions from individuals, foundations and corporations. More information can be found at: www.eyecareamerica.org

In Honor of Dometic Violence Awareness Month

 In honor of Domestic Violence Awareness month Mary Kay® cosmetics company  is premiering a series of documentaries to put a national spotlight on the cause. Women nationwide, alongside female celebrities, Maria Menounos ("Extra"), JoAnna Garcia Swisher ("Better with You"), Alexa Vega ("Spy Kids") joined forces through the Mary Kay Inspiring Stories program to unite their voices to make a difference. 

Mary Kay® encourages millions to join in the fight against domestic violence from September 28th through October 31st at MaryKayInspiringStories.com.  With each view we can change the future of domestic violence today. 

Maria Menounos

Maria Menouno (pictured right), narrator for Give Dreams added, "Everyday women all over the world put on lipstick to feel empowered, beautiful and confident but when a woman purchases a Beauty that Counts™ Creme Lipstick she can actually give back to help others so they have the confidence to escape domestic violence—that's a beautiful thing."

Actress JoAnna Garcia Swisher narrator for Give Hope, noted, "The movement to end domestic violence can begin with a single viewing of each Mary Kay Inspiring Stories documentaries. The more views we can generate will lead to a heightened awareness about domestic violence and then ultimately we can all be a part of making an important change."

Mary Kay® created Mary Kay Inspiring Stories, an all-female initiative to unite in the fight against domestic violence -- the number one cause of injury to women nationwide. The goal of Mary Kay Inspiring Stories is to raise awareness, provide a platform of support for those impacted by domestic violence, and encourage education so more people recognize the signs of abuse and are empowered to escape it.

Mary Kay® is a company committed to causes that change the lives of women and children including domestic violence and cancers affecting women. Over the years, Mary Kay® has donated millions of dollars and advanced support, education and prevention efforts through its Beauty that Counts™ campaign and its support of the Mary Kay Foundation.

Through Mary Kay Inspiring Stories the company will support donations to domestic violence shelters nationwide. America can join the cause in three ways: 

viewing and sharing the films at http://marykayinspiringstories.com ,

purchasing a Mary Kay Beauty that Counts™ Creme lipstick, 

becoming a fan of Mary Kay at http://facebook.com/marykay. 

Mary Kay will be making over $80,000 in donations with a special $20,000 donation in the name of the crew behind the most viewed film. Additionally, through  Oct. 31, Mary Kay Inc. will donate $1 to the Mary Kay Foundation for every new Facebook fan – up to $1 million.  And, consumers can join Mary Kay in its effort to change the lives of women and children around the world through the purchase of a limited-edition* Beauty that Counts™ Mary Kay® Creme Lipstick.  In the U.S., through Dec. 15, 2011, $1 will be donated to the Mary Kay Foundation from each purchase of "Give Hope," "Give Joy" and "Give Dreams," lipstick shades to assist the Foundation's efforts to end domestic violence.

So help Mary Kay help stop dometic violence in one of these ways, I know I will!

Leah Herrington, U.S. Director of Marketing for Mary Kay® noted, "We hope that Mary Kay Inspiring Stories gives hope to the hopeless, gives joy to the women who can say they've survived and gives dreams to those who wish for a better tomorrow."

A Tour of Southern Ghosts

Boo!!
Do you like GHOST stories?

This is the bewitching time of year.  With Halloween coming up soon, what a great time for scary, ghoulish ghost stories on an official ghost tour with terrifying tales spun by professional storytellers on the annual "Tour of Southern Ghosts" at Stone Mountain Park, beginning the evening of October 13 at the lantern-lit paths of Antebellum Plantation, the spookiest plantation in the South, and running through October 31, including Halloween night.  It's a great family event, but you might want to be sure you have a brave-hearted individual in your group in case the stories get a little too scary!

You'll hear stories of "real" ghosts, like the following scary stories:

Awakened by the sound of wagons passing late in the night, Liza's curiosity gets the best of her...and the Army of the Dead does as well.  According to her husband, nobody should speak of them or look at them.  Liza does...with paralyzing results.
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Love, loyalty--and guilt frequently cause a person to remain among the living once they're gone. Aunt Caroline, an elderly slave, had all those reasons and more.  Love and loyalty for the family she served all of her life and guilt for not being there when they perished at the hands of Union soldiers seem to be reason enough.  But, the motion of putting something around her neck...was it the noose with which she hanged herself--or something more valuable?
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A little antique doll that's seen better days...How harmful can that be?  Perhaps little Mary should have paid more attention to her father and avoided that old haunted house and she would never have found the doll--and lost her soul.
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War makes heroines of the strangest people.  There were none stranger than Miss Violet, a pig-headed lone-wolf sort of woman who acted like the rest of humanity didn't exist...until the first orphan was given to her to raise.  Seven children in all came to Miss Violet's for love and protection when their parents were killed in the war.  Miss Violet vowed to protect them until the day she died...and even after that.  The ghost of Miss Violet kept the Yankee marauders from harming her precious children--and the soldiers paid the ultimate price.
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“The Ghost Who Practiced Dying” is a tale of strange noises under the bed.  Two friends were convinced that it was a ghost.  In the end, they uncovered the truth.
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“The Specter in the Graveyard” is a story of a man who, upon leaving a local tavern late one crisp October night, believed that he was being pulled into the earth in the graveyard on his way home.  The “spirits” may have convinced him to give up drinking after that.
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Millie Crocket was an infamous old woman who, after her passing, is still seen and heard ordering her favorite adult beverage; knock, knock, knock.
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A little boy lost, the sounds of cannon fire where there is no cannon, all the sea life trying to leave the ocean… In times of crisis, it’s good to have family, no matter how far they have to travel.
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Grannie Annie, the town’s nursemaid, carried a carved up and sturdy big old stick for protection but she never needed it... ‘til she cut through the woods one night.  
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The performances feature six storytellers each night, rotating from a pool of twelve.  This year’s storytellers are: Fracena Byrd, Kara Cantrell, Angela Corbin, David Hirt, Nancy Knight, Theresa O’Shea, Ron Powers, Scottie Rowell, Brandon Sartain, Melodie Sartain, Lester Thomas & Tracy Walker.

Tickets may be purchased online at www.artstation.org, by calling the ART Station box office at 770 469 1105 or may be purchased at the Antebellum Plantation Box Office at Stone Mountain Park at 6:45 each performance evening.  Tours begin each evening at 7:00 p.m. with a different tour starting every 10 minutes.  The tour last approximately 50 minutes.  Admission is $15 for adults and $7 for children 12 and under. For additional information call 770 469 1105.

Cisco Router Giveaway!

Win the Cisco E4200 Router

If fast-speed wireless connection is what you need, Cisco’s got you covered.  Cisco has partnered with Atlanta Social Season magazine to give away the E4200, a dual-band N router that’s part of the brand’s new E-Series.

 

Have your chance at winning a free router from Cisco by simply sending an email to giveaway@seasonmagazine.com. With Cisco’s E4200, connect your computers, Internet-ready TVs, game consoles and other Wi-Fi devices.

 

More info: http://home.cisco.com/en-us/home

Budget Friendly Birthday Ideas

9 Basics for a Budget Friendly Adult Birthday Bash
              by Andrea Woroch

Thanks to Facebook's weekly reminder of your friends' birthdays, more attention is being paid to natal anniversaries than ever. Adults particularly tend to celebrate landmark birthdays that end in a round figure. The cost for such parties, however, can easily get out of hand. In the spirit of creating a back-to-basics bash, I offer the following nine tips.

1. Discount Decorations
Dollar stores are your go-to place for party decorations. You'll save up to 70-percent off party store prices and the selection is equally nice. Dollar stores also are a great place to finding inexpensive wrapping paper and reusable gift bags.

2. E-invitations
Facebook is one of the best ways to create a simple invitation using the "Event" function, but not everyone uses the social network. Several websites, including evite.com and SmileBox.com, offer free electronic invitations that do the trick while providing RSVP feedback.

3. Serve Finger Food
A four-course meal takes a lot of time, skill and money. Instead, keep guests happy with simple hors' doeuvres created in your kitchen. You'll want to avoid the pre-packaged appetizers from your grocery or specialty store as they'll cost you 40 percent to 60 percent more than homemade.

4. Borrow Your Finery
Stepping out in a new outfit or dress shirt will surely impress your guests, but it'll do little for your budget. Borrow something to wear from a friend for that special birthday-outfit feeling. If that's not possible, check out second-hand stores for a bit of frugal frippery.

5. Booze as Gifts
Instead of bringing gifts to the event, ask guests to contribute booze for the celebration. Alcohol is the most expensive element of any adult party, especially if you've invited a rowdy crowd.

6. Skip the Cake
Store-bought cakes are often expensive and don't always taste the best. Instead, serve simple cupcakes, baked goods, ice cream or -- horrors -- make your own cake from a box mix.

7. Select a Strategic Time Slot
Plan the event for directly after lunch or dinner, when guests will already have eaten and won't expect much in the way of food.

8. Register with CardAvenue.com
Take the burden off friends by having the birthday gal or guy register for gift cards at CardAvenue.com. They can buy discount gift cards for the recipients favorite stores or restaurants and they'll never know the cards were purchased at less than face value.

9. Don't Stress Out
You're less likely to buy extras at the last minute if you don't sweat the small stuff. Your role is to be a good hostess and you can't do that with frayed nerves.

Stuck with Mr. Wrong?

Stuck With Mr. Wrong?

Expert Reveals How Life Can Imitate Art In Relationships

 

Amy Beth O’Brien’s friends think she watches a few too many movies, but she just may be on to something.

In her book Stuck with Mr. Wrong? Ten Steps to Starring in your own Life Story (http://www.amybethobrien.com), O’Brien shares her secret to avoiding bad relationships by looking at life from an audience’s perspective.

“Everyone loves the movies,” said O’Brien. “We get to lose ourselves in a story and live vicariously through the main character.  I encourage women to be the main character in their own life story by stepping into their starring role as leading lady and stop playing extra or best supporting actress to someone else.”

Her lessons are taught through movie analogies that help women take control of their lives, and help them avoid the mistakes that often lead to good women putting up with bad male behavior. Her tips include:

• Embrace  Your Inner Screenwriter – Every  woman has some version of the story they want to live. We can write our script  based on fears of what would happen if we made any changes or out of faith  that taking control of our lives, and being our most authentic selves, is the  best story we could ever write.  
• Listen  to Your Director – While the  screenwriter spins the yarn, the director delivers the vision to guide the  story. When the players are acting out of character, or the story seems to  take a wrong turn, the director guides us to make the best choices to put us  back on track. Listening to your director means understanding that our  intuition is our best friend and guide.  
• Become  the Star – If we looked at our  life as a movie, would we see ourselves as the leading role in our own movie,  or an extra or supporting player in the lives of those around us? We all have  family and friends we support, and for whom we make sacrifices. How much of  our time is spent on those responsibilities and obligations, and how much is  dedicated to living the scripts of our own lives? Many of us live with the  guilt-ridden thesis that if we spend time on our own goals, we are somehow  neglecting others. That’s patently false and we need to ensure that we don’t  spend our lives playing roles in other people’s movies, to the extent that  we’re unable to star in our own.
  

“Your dreams, values, passions and creativity are meant to be expressed,” O’Brien added. “Relationships may challenge us, but they should never turn us into people we are not, suppress our talents, or squelch our dreams and desires.  I encourage women to stop acting — to stop conforming to another person’s tastes, keeping silent when they have something to say, compromising their spirit, or staying in a bad situation out of fear.  Move forward with faith toward the life of your dreams.”
 

About Amy O’Brien
 

Amy O’Brien holds a BA in Speech Communications and a Master’s in Training and Development. She is also certified as a mind/body yoga teacher and speaker. Stuck with Mr. Wrong? Ten Steps to Starring in your own Life Story, in addition to winning the National Indie Excellence Finalist Award in Self Help, also recently won two international book awards.